My guess is there are two kinds of self centredness. Edit make that three…
1. You don’t know you are being self centred.
My old friend Pete feel into this category; and because he was intimidating he had had a lifelong of “getting away with it”. When I pointed to his self oriented ways he was mostly horrified and made efforts to change. However, bad habits die hard.
2. You have to be self centred because otherwise you can’t cope.
In this box, I put the feeble minded whose cognitions have left them so insecure or lacking in self esteem that they have to put themselves first.
I am maybe being unfair calling them feebles. But my guess is that there is much work to be done before they can put the oxygen mask on others.
If you are lucky enough to get a personal data point “in”, then take it. People have to care (on any level) to give you feedback.
But take accusations as to self centredness with a check. I suspect sometimes people will accuse you of being the beast when they want the attention. For example, if the woman screams you are a selfish pig, it may be that it’s not so black and white as the frying pan suggests.
3. Those that dodge the users so they realise they can get away with being self-centred.
This works by one or more of not getting feedback; not heeding feedback; and or by not giving a shit about your behaviour or the feedback coming or not.
I have met a few Germanics in this category. For some reason one springs to mind. It’s a sort of “I win and I won’t see you again so why do I care (dodge)”.
Somehow this one repulsed me the most.
(Actually this one tips over into selfishness (being aware of your selfcentreredness but not caring). So there are really only two self centrednesses as I first postulated. )