Here’s something fascinating I was told the other day. 

When one bloke (say a drunk next door neighbour in Randwick) is being a dick at a party, he is likely to be told this outright when he is in a group of men. 

But if women are present the men stay silent. 

This has something to do with not wanting to be judged, but I’m not sure. I also suspect it’s not a blanket and applies to some fellas and not others. 

Anyway, seems to me that self correcting feedback in male circles might be pervasive. Intuitively it seems correct. 

This wouldn’t apply (to my knowlegde) in a female female situation (males present or not). In other words if one girl was being a dick at a party the other girls would whisper and gossip but they are unlikely to say anything out loud. It’s not so confrontational in a group. 

My guess is overall and over the course of their lives, women give men feedback but net receive less back from them. 

Feedback on bad behaviours is so important for growth and learning. I spot myself doing it to my kids all the time. 


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