Relationships and experiences 

As my eyes closed, I asked my brain to stop processing information and actually communicate something useful to me. 

For a few days now, I have been waiting for the processor to explain why I feel the way I do about business. Instead of clear thoughts I get flickers of images seemingly unrelated. 

At 1.40am I woke up and went to the bathroom. The answer was ready. I lay in bed and let the clarity wash over me: the reason I am so comfortable in spirituality is because it’s all about relationships and experiences; and in business I value those (relationships and experience) over any professional outcomes. 

It all made perfect sense. It was as if half of the “me’s” were asleep and only one was talking quietly and rationally. There were no counter arguments no, but…? What about…? Just one quiet truth. 

Today the idea still makes sense. I can open sales meetings because I am good at relationships, most of the people I have tried to sell to have become my friends (rather than customers). I have had relationships with the people I work closely with, sometimes very intense friendships. And now, the reason my clients call me and bother me is because I have relationships with them, I listen to them.

In some cases, it has made me good at my job. When asked to integrate a new service into a remote part of an international company, I nailed it in 18 months by creating a network of relationships within the company. I got buy in and support from the most unlikely sources. And I had some experiences. It was a good fit. But I am only half the story.!

It goes past good business sense though. In fact, my relationships are mostly unprofessional (which isn’t to say there’s anything wrong with them, but perhaps to be professional, there has to be a lack of personal and more clinical). I am not naturally driven to turn my relationship into anything business related or lucrative. I don’t charge my clients enough. I don’t monetise my relationships. 

I have two choices: either I learn how to create or work the business relationships, or I find a place where the desire for relationships and experiences is useful. I expect the latter is the more natural approach. Trying to change is a slow process best slow roasted under controlled circumstances. Although I could “notice” the relationship formation and try to keep it business-like. 

I could be good at any task where I need to create something “new”. Ask me to head a new group in Shanghai, and ask me how I would go about promoting the service, and I am not daunted. I already know I would get to know everyone who was anyone on the ground. I can create networks and make introductions. I can put something – and idea or a concept – on the map. 

I am not sure what this skill is useful for. 

One thing i suspect is it might make me a terrible medical practitioner. Especially a terrible psychiatrist. Those relationships need to be very clinical. You cannot be mates with your doctor.



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