Ah, so it turns out I’ve been to Byron bay two times before and I seem to have forgotten. The first was in 2005 (?) I drove here with Ronnie and we had a big fight on the beach. The second was in 2013 a la familia.
What was the point of that argument in 2005. – well I waned to experience Byron. I wanted to sit in a bar near the sea and drink a glass of wine. I wanted to listen to live music while people laughed – I wanted to feel the vibe. He did not. He wanted to tick the box and leave.
An argument is the dissonance in a relationship incarnate. The attempt to bring the two views together. A good argument sees change, justification, understanding. It’s communication maybe with a touch of emotion. A bad argument just reveals two extreme and unresolvable positions. A particular kind of hopeless that can be witnessed in one of those After Midnigt movies. If you’ve been there, you know how that that type of argument can only be resolved by soul destroying denial.
The second time I came to Byron was during migration from Melbourne to Brisbane – 2013. We stopped here with our two kids. I remember now – I even found the cafe where we tried to wrangle two three year olds to eat eggs.
In hindsight it still wasn’t what I was looking for.
And here I am tonight finally getting Byron my way. I really feel very good about it.
What I needed to find was in me. What I wanted was to sit here by myself. But I didn’t know that’s what I wanted in 2005 or 2013. So all that relational dissonance was especially unresolvable because I couldn’t even articulate what I wanted.
There are these salty dried out capers in my dinner that are especially divine.