I just read some long and rambling report from some hippy chick on FB. The gist of it was on the pain of breaking up from her fella. 

One part stuck in my mind. 

“We both know to trust and follow a woman’s pure emotion like that…”

That resonated. 



This got me to thinking: thank God! I can cut loose and release my inner emoticons! 

But Jesus, do you know what that would look like? And where it would get me? Nowhere fecking fast I can tell you. 

Instead I choose to attempt to have some grace. And to own my own stuff and work out why I am angry without shouting at someone on the phone. 

(I’m not saying I am especially good at it)

So the clue to me that what she says is BS is that I thought that sounded gooood! Too goooood. …

Because having to consider my emotions and let them integrate before I speak or act is very exhausting. And even with my best efforts sometimes under very stressful circumstances I can only just keep a lid on it. Being emotional is very hard work of you don’t want to inflict it on others. 

And I would go to lengths to make excuses for myself and find a reason not to have to deal with it myself. 

Like an excuse that gold only results if I follow my female powers. 

Yes and there are leprechauns guarding the pots of it.


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