I just had my first trailer part moment.
I see this as a sign that my personal journey has progressed (https://polarbear87.wordpress.com/2015/01/30/the-stages-of-life/)
The moment comprised a realisation that I think most people are fuckwits when viewed relative to my own thinking. And worse still, a realisation that its not my responsibility (at all) to “fix” them. In fact, to try or even consider “fixing” them is to imply there is something wrong with them and right with me; which is a view counter to my current philosophy.
And as I people-watched them over lunch, I came to the realisation that I am completely alone.
The hopelessness of it all made me want to withdraw from all of it and go and find a trailer park so as not to have to deal with it.
Now I have written that it seems like an anti-trailer park moment.
In my earlier blog (just refreshed my memory) I was using the trailer park as a metaphor for a place of complete acceptance. It doesn’t seem like I am ready to accept any notion that humans are for the most part self-centred, egotistical, frustrating and annoying. This trailer park desire seems more like a wish to run away and not face things at all.
A problem I have with people that have been able to accept people just-as-they-are, is that somehow I feel its slightly superior. Like you are some guru, and they are all goldfish.
I feel like I am right on the edge of something really important here. But I don’t know how to drop off into the abyss – maybe I ain’t ready. It could be that my logic is ahead of my emotional body. What I mean is that I have the insights but not the gut feelings. This seems to be right.
The only way to get the gut feelings is experience is my guess. Lots of it. New experiences all the time and no thinking. Actually, no thinking about things at all.
There’s a challenge.