Owning shit*

When people allow you to own your own shit, I think it feels like they don’t care about you. 

I suppose because in the history of “you” the people that loved you always made your problems their problems, likely right from the mum-and-dad start. 

But it’s a false correlation that someone else trying to help you solve your problems means that they love you. And it follows on the flip side to be false that a fail to help when you are distressed is a sign of disinterest. 

And this works in reverse: you don’t have to solve someone else’s problems just because you love them. 

In fact, sometimes, when done mindfully, someone allowing you to own your own problems is the highest form of loving behaviour. 

I don’t know where I was going with that. But it’s nuggety insight nevertheless.

*(I don’t know why it’s refered to as “shit” but it is) 



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