Over the past few months, my parenting style has changed. Actually, it hasn’t changed much, but I have gone much deeper into a parenting philosophy I have always held, but felt that I wasn’t fully allowed to relax into.
My coparent has a very different parenting style to me. It’s much more around socialising the kids. Making sure they don’t disrupt the family with their heedless and irresponsible pursuit of pleasure (I stole this ditty from Gordon Livingston). Focusing on controlling their behaviour and becoming exhausted with the battle.
The sort-of-opposite parenting style (mine) is more about giving love and support and assuming the kids will grow into productive adults. I am not so much about rules. This less confrontational style of parenting is less prescriptive in my mind.
I hadn’t realised that this ability to be “myself” as a parent has inevitably contributed to the absolute happiness and contentedness I currently feel in my soul.
Just now – at 830pm on a Saturday night (when the kids should have been in bed (!)) we were all still in the bath talking. We covered all sorts of topics from inane to contentious, such as stripping, safe sex, abortion. They have amazing views on things. Such open minds and pure thoughts.
Mostly, I try to let them talk, but I jump in when they go way off track (like the discussion of what would happen if a foetus was aborted and then placed in the trash and started to grow on old banana skins – what would happen to the resultant baby?!).
They have no fear; just an absolutely amazing ability to think and discuss things without judgement.