If I was on the computer and I found your email account open, I wouldn’t necessarily be compelled to look.
From time to time, over the years, my ex-husband had his email account on the family laptop, and every now and again my eye would catch it, but only in observation.
Last night, whilst trying to operate his laptop for my daughter, I noticed his email account open.
For the first time I can remember, I felt a pang of curiosity. And I am ashamed to say, I clicked on it and opened the top piece of mail. Carefully, like someone might steam open a letter.
The only reason I can give is that the information he is giving me now, is at odds with what I think it really happening. This creates an air of confusion for me. Its feels very hard to exist when I feel I am fed false data. I wonder why this bothers me. Hypothetically, I should react from my own authenticity which should be independent of the information given to me from another being.