how does that make you feel?

I have realised recently that I don’t know how I really feel about hardly anything. 

Surprisingly, this has never bothered me before. 

More accurately, I didn’t notice. 

The reason it didn’t bother me, I think, is that I was too busy wondering or worrying about what other people where thinking or feeling about me to care about what I thought. 

It’s almost like by externalising, I didn’t concern myself so much with the innards. 

Now I look inside sometimes and find no answers; it’s slightly terrifying.  

The only thing I can see that you do is wait to see how you feel about something and move towards what makes you feel good and away from what makes you feel bad. 

But what if the bad is “bad medicine”. I’m the person who refuses to delete shit I don’t like from my Facebook feed, and decides on all kinds of “entertainment” based on experience rather than comfort. 

I reckon only time can tell. And trust. Yep it’s trusting that what you are doing is exactly right. Even if it seems like a disaster waiting to happen. 

  

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