I used to think it was necessary to be a truth ferret. To always reveal the truth as I saw it, and to have that in return.
Now I see that being a truth ferret is, in some ways, asking someone else to take responsibility for my actions. Asking them to be the arbiter of my behaviour. It’s not owning my behaviour.
Instead, I now surrender to the idea that I can make my own choices, good and bad, and I don’t need to share it all. My behaviour is my responsibility.
It does feel like surrender.
And it also allows me to let someone else live the same way; so I don’t need their minutia, provided they have the same grace.