I have a very defined idea of what the father archetype is. He is someone that is tolerant and wise and kind and always available with open arms. I can’t put it into words, it’s a feeling.
My dad fits into (or embodies) my father-archetype. I feel his love and guidance and gentle soul.
I can see how I am sometimes more of a father to my kids than a mother. I don’t mind both roles. As a mother I am nurturing and loving. As a father I am guiding and accepting. I am more of a father to my daughter for some reason. Maybe I feel that is what I needed, so that’s what she gets.
Often times I have joked that my husband is actually my wife. I think I may have taken on many male roles in my marriage – sometimes I was the only person working and I felt the reality of financial responsibility squarely on my shoulders. Like a father might. Interestingly, though, I always felt that providing was his responsibility (my husband) and if I failed it would just become his problem.
Outside of parenting, I am not sure where else I play the role of father. Someone that is wise and steady and not impulsive. Perhaps sometimes at work, but not much. I actually dislike having to play the role at work. Something to do with responsibility. It feels like such a weight. I wonder what that is? I can feel that I don’t want to put my energy into it. But now I see that any weight is likely a fear of failure and disappointment when in fact if you give up your expectation and just play the role for yourself there is none. It should be cost neutral.
At work, I often gravitate to the father-like figures and I love to be mentored by those types the most. Some of my best male friends are my fathers. I have let them envelop me when I needed them.
I can see how having kids changes you. It pushes you to feel into these psychcological types in different ways. It matures the mind.
I thought I would find this hard to write, but I didn’t at all.