I am starting to feel concerned that I have fooled myself that I am braver than I actually am.
In fact, I think I let life happen to me rather than trying to control it. The happening effected by others. Sure I make some choices, but for the most part I am wimpish.
My guess is my modus operandi has been to incite others to act by fooling them into thinking I am much braver than I really am. They do something they thing I would do and I follow them in. Or I put myself into a group with others where the action is and ride their wave.
I am not afraid of taking risks, nor am I averse to the odd random event, but I struggle with the activation energy. Intention is present, but the trigger I reckon is pulled by another. That other might express surprise that I wouldn’t do it if passed the buck.
Maybe it has something to do with internal plausible deniability.
I only realised this when I happened across someone like me. A person that incites me, as I incite them but the proposed action does not unfold as I would expect.
This is very amusing to me. I wonder who will move first to initiate the collection of inchoate offences.
Or maybe we move to grenades.